


The dangers of falling in love

by Rebel557



Category: Andy Biersack - Fandom, Andy Black - Fandom, Black Veil Brides
Genre: Aftercare, Anxiety Disorder, Black Veil Brides Army, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood and Violence, Bruises, Chases, Cuts, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Falling In Love, Fights, Fucked Up, Hunting, I'm Sorry, Killer Love, Knifeplay, Manipulation, Mental Breakdown, Mind Manipulation, Name-Calling, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Obsession, Oral Sex, Pet Names, Rape Roleplay, Rape/Non-con Elements, Ratings: R, Running, Semi-Public Sex, Social Issues, Stockholm Syndrome, clueless bestfriend, killer andy, really fucked up, scary Andy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:51:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebel557/pseuds/Rebel557
Summary: “The kingdom of God is inside you and all around you.Not in a mansion of wood and stone.Split a piece of wood, and God is there.Lift a stone, and you will find God.”“Oh baby, I am no God.”I was a target, an easy target. I didn't want to be there, but as I learn, we have little choice in life. All we can choose to do is react. Maybe if I had chosen to say no more, I would have never gone through this. I don't regret it, why should I? It was the most excitement my life has ever had. Terrible, terrible excitement. But excitement.He was like adding spices to a sweet piece of fruit, it didn't need it, but by god, did it make it more exciting and flavourful. He was my spice, and now normal fruit will never be the same.





	1. A taste of normal

**Author's Note:**

> Hella short, i'm sorry.

“You look ridiculous.” I sigh at my friend, who ignores me as she applies her bright red lipstick.  
“Oh loosen up, if you act so up tight you'll never have any fun.” Rosie finally turns to me, smiling excitedly to me. As ridiculous as she looked, dressed in skin tight black skinny jeans and a tank top her chest may just fall out of, she was still attractive, and I don't doubt her coming home with someone.  
“Look, I'm just saying, you could find someone just fine without showing the general public your tits.” I point out as she brushes her dark brown hair a last time and slides a necklace on.  
“Well, maybe you'd find someone if you'd show a little skin.” She retorts, and I just roll my eyes.  
“I'm fine Rosie, just go get your toy for the night and keep it down. I have work in the morning.” I say as she laughs.  
“Fine, fine, whatever you wish Ray.” She smiles as I groan.  
“Stop calling me that!” I whine, turning away from her room and go to my room right across from hers. I love Rosie, but she does annoy me, deeply. It's true, opposites work best, but she still pisses me off. Maybe I'm jealous, the number of guys and even girls that walk in and out of our place for her, while my cousins will only come by every now and then to check on me. Sure, she's the cliche popular and happy girl, while I'm her opposite loser friend. I just, can't handle crowds. Crowds, loud noises, small spaces, ect. I was lucky to get through my classes without a panic attack.  
It was hard to socialise, it'd physically hurt after a while. My chest would squeeze up tight, my muscles would clench and spasm uncontrollably, I'd shake to hard to do anything productive, my throat would run dry and close up on me. Pills never really helped, especially since I couldn't open up to the therapist about what was wrong, which just made even more problems.  
Rosie understood, despite making her lose a couple points on her popularity scale in high school, she stood by my side for everything. The number of classes and tests she'd miss because she had to come to the nurse's room to stop my panic attacks and calm me down, she had a special pass made. She missed a few parties cause I just didn't want to be alone some nights. She even forced me to come to Homecoming and Prom my senior year despite the number of times I cried that night just so I could say I did it. She was my neighbour and grew up with it and always stood up for me, I owe her so much, 17 years later since she started doing it for me. We're 22 now, and I hope one day I can let her go and be a normal person.  
I sigh as I hear her walk out, grabbing my thick blanket and curling up under it, my lamp turned out for the night as I say a soft prayer for a better day in the morning. After, I grab my phone, quietly scrolling through Facebook till I eventually fall asleep.


	2. Little Doe all alone

“Rosie! I'm home!” I call, slipping my shoes off as I enter the house. I set my bag down before walking to the kitchen, setting down some muffin left over from today.   
“Oh! You brought food!” Rosie smiles as she walks in, grabbing one from the bag. A job at the bakery is the only one I can hold down, baking in the back and only serving if we have absolutely no one. The owners are great, and understand my hate of others and small spaces, and let me just bake in the back.   
“Of course I did.” I smile slightly as she grins.   
“I love your muffins Rachel, seriously, you could get mega rich if you opened up your own bakery. Oh! Your cookies! So fucking good!” She groans as I laugh.   
“Well, I went to culinary school for a reason.” I chuckle as she smiles.   
“I know, I know. But seriously, you should consider opening a muffin shop.” She says as I shrug.   
“Maybe.” I hum, putting the others away. “You going out tonight?” I ask, already knowing the answer.   
“Is it a Saturday night?” She asks and I nod. “Then of course I'm going out tonight, some of the girls want to meet up for drinks.” She says as I smile.   
“Nice, you guys aren't driving right?” I ask and she nods.   
“Course not, I got money for a cab.” She assures me.   
“Good. Well, I'm going to wash off the smell of bread and watch tv.” I say as she laughs.   
“Of course.” She nods, and I head off to do that. I have to wash the smell off of me, or I will go insane. As much as I love it, I can't handle smelling of bread all day.   
After showering and slicing an apple, I settled on the couch as Rosie got ready to go. I had some recordings to catch up on, as I always binge watched on Saturday nights, it was just a tradition. I had a blanket, some fruit, and the tv to myself. My perfect night.  
“I'm heading out!” Rosie calls as I send a good night her way, the sun starting to set. Our window doesn't have much of a view, but it was comforting as I glanced out and watched her get in a cab. Settling on the couch again, I started up this week's episode of impractical jokers, and blocked out the world. 

xxx

My eyes must of failed me early in my night, but they quickly opened to the sound of a bump. The blue tv screen was the only light, and even then it was dull. I stayed still, holding my breath as there was another bump. Rosie would of turned on a light… I'm petrified as I can't feel my phone on me, only guessing it's in my room.   
I'm being ridiculous, it may just be Rosie's nightly toy, but I can't hear Rosie. Rosie, is sadly loud. But this isn't a time to think of that, some poor guy is stumbling half drunk in her room probably.   
I slowly stand, keeping my cardigan wrapped around me as I slowly turn on the living room lamp. Things go silent after the click, and I just hold my breath as well. Walking to the hall our bedrooms are, the hallway is dark and I feel my heart pound seeing a figure.   
“H-hello?” I ask quietly, the large form turning my way. I feel like I didn't even have a chance to blink, my whole body being smacked against the wall by the towering figure, a large hand over my mouth as I scream. My scream cuts short feeling cold metal against my neck, and my chest pounds millions of miles a minutes.   
“My, don't you know better than to talk to strangers?” A low voice chuckles, and my eyes scramble up to sharp blue ones. The, man is taller than me. A lot. And I look up to him as tears well in my eyes. Fuck. I wasn't crazy.   
“Now, little girl, it seems you're up well past your bedtime.” He growls lowly, the knife digging a little in my neck as my eyes widen. Tears drip quickly onto his hand, but he isn't phased,keeping me pinned against the wall by just using his body, one of his legs between mine. I feel like I'm choking, and know I'm almost sobbing. I'm going to die.   
“Isn't that cute, going to cry for your life. Maybe if you cry enough I won't slit your throat, go ahead little girl, cry.” His voice growls as I sob. His hand stays firm over my mouth, my palms flat against the wall, scared stiff. I feel a heavy warmth against my hips, a dark realisation he likes this.   
“Look at you, not even fighting me, bet you'd let me do anything to you little Doe.” His voice falls to a purr. The name sends a shiver in my spine, and I whimpered as he switches from covering my mouth to having a tight grip on my hair. The knife is still against my throat, and there's a dark look in his eyes.   
“You're not going to make a noise.” He warns. “And your going to lead me to your room. Go.” He growls, moving off of me, still having a hand in my hair. My whole body is shaking and I feel sick. When I don't move, the knife slices along my collarbone and I wince, but quickly start walking.   
My whole body shakes as I lead him to my room, my hand almost too shaky to open the door. He shoves me in, throwing me on the bed as he turns on a light, his eyes scanning my room. It gives me a chance to look at him, my whole body shaking as I stay where he put me.   
He's tall, oddly tall. His whole body is long and lanky, but toned. He has black hair, his eyes a light shade of blue. His face is firm, lips staying in a firm line as he walks around the room, obviously looking for something. He's pale, very pale. The black jeans just show his thin legs, and although he's wearing a jacket, I can tell he has tattoos, dark lines showing on his hand and his neck. I can only imagine what his arms are like.   
His attention turns back to me as I shift a little, gently smirking. He stalks in front of me, towering over me.   
“Take your jacket off, little doe.” He orders, and my shaky hands move to do so. He smirks watching me, before he's pulling me up by my hair as I whimper loudly. My back is pressed against the wall as his knife slides up my shirt, cutting off the t shirt with ease. He smirks a little wider seeing I'm not wearing a bra.   
“Naughty little girl.” His voice purrs, cutting the shirt off of me. I'm still as a statue as he slides my pj pants off, his fingers digging in my hip as I whimper. I'm thrown back on the bed and he holds himself above me, his hand holding my wrists above my head. I whimper, feeling my tears run into my hair. This, is terrifying.   
“Tell me your name little Doe.” He instructs, the hand not holding my wrists starting to gently knead my breast. I whimper a little louder, trying to shrink back into my sheets. “Answer me.” He growls, his nails digging in my breast as I squeal, the noise panicked and short. I shake my head as he snarls, lips curling angrily. I watch as he grabs his knife, running the tip of the blade along my ribs.   
“Look how easy it'd be for me to stab you, my knife run through your ribs, puncture your lung and make you choke on your own blood.” He growls as I whimper, squirming away. I sob feeling the tip of his blade dig in my side, a bead of blood running down. He growls again as I don't speak, moving the knife to my throat.   
“Your fucking pathetic huh? To scared of the big bad man to tell me your name. Well, little Doe, I'll get a name out of you somehow.” He snarls, roughly flipping me on my stomach. He pulls my wrist to my back, and I feel something wrap around them. I can only see a glance from my dresser mirror, but it seems it's a bandana. His hand comes into my hair, pulling my head back.   
“If you scream, it'll be the last noise you make. I'll slice your tongue out of your mouth and let you bleed out.” He growls as I whimper. His lips latch onto my neck, biting and sucking the side of my neck as he holds my head in place. I hear him as he shifts, and a belt buckle clink. My stomach drops, my eyes wide. Oh no. No no no!   
“Please! Please don't!” I sob, begging for mercy. I wish he'd just slit my throat.   
“Oh little doe, you'll be begging for me to go deeper in a moment.” He chuckles darkly, and I feel my chest beat out of control. All I can do is cry as he forces me on my knees, my face flat against my bed. I've...I've only had sex once before, on my Prom night. I was so drunk because the punch got spiked, I don't remember any of it.   
I cry out as he thrusts into me, feeling his grip in my hair get much tighter. He's slow for two thrusts, before his hips start slamming into me.   
“Fuck, doe, your fucking tight.” He growls, the hand not in my hair is on my hips, his nails digging into me. “And fucking wet to. You fucking like being defenceless huh?” I can almost hear his smirk, and it makes me cry more. I hope Rosie doesn't see this. Oh god! I hope she doesn't see this.   
I feel the knife run along my side again, picking at the spot on my ribs where he carved in me. It's pressed a bit harder to my side, and I can tell my sheets will be bloody. It hurts as he thrusts harder into me, but, I'm moaning. I'm crying but moaning, finding myself being worked up as he thrusts deeper.   
“You like that huh? Who would've thought, little doe likes it rough.” He groans, his hips stuttering a little bit. “Fuck, your so tight your going to make me cum.” He almost snarls. He pulls out violently quick, my back being marked in warm lines as I whimper.   
I hear him pant roughly for a moment before I'm flipped back to my back, looking up at him. His hair is damp with sweat, and there's a satisfied smirk on his lips. His eyes are crazed, and seem hungry as they travel along my body.   
“Don't worry little doe, I haven't forgotten about you. Your so tight, no man has had a chance to pleasure you before have they?” He grins, his fingers pressing along my slit, and I feel his thumb start to massage my clit. I whimper, trying to squirm away, but he grabs my thighs roughly. “You will not escape me doe, you will cum.” He says firmly, his face lighting up with a dark idea.   
He keeps ahold of my legs, forcing them painfully apart before he bends. I whimper louder as his tongue slides along my folds, swirling in me. His nails dig in the pale flesh inside my thigh as he pulses his tongue in and out of me. He goes from sliding his tongue deep inside me and his teeth lightly scraping along my clit. My hands clench from where they're pinned under my back, his seaman starting to dry on my arms and have smeared. It's a mess, and I feel beyond dirty as I know I'm dripping wet.   
I gasp as he speeds up, and squirm uneasily. I don't want to cum, it's, wrong. Beyond wrong. All of this is wrong. But I get little choice as I feel myself clench around his tongue, cuming with each pulse of his tounge before he slides his lips away from me.   
He sits back on his knees, looking down at me, a happy smirk on his lips. There's blood around his lips, and he goes to speak, but I finally just pass out. Hopefully he kills me while I'm out.


	3. Scared little doe

My alarm echoes throughout my room, and my eyes open as I jerk awake. I manage to slam my hand on the alarm as everything tumbles down on me. Oh no. I...fuck.  
I become overwhelmed, vomiting as I sit up. I'm panicking, my chest tightening and tears drip down my face, and I manage to get most of my vomit in my trash can. My whole body shakes as I try to look around my room, see if he's still here. Acid drips down my chin as I frantically look around, not seeing home. All I see is… My bed sheets. The pale blue now has dark stains that are definitely blood. Blood that came from between my legs, from his cuts, and god knows what else. But.. I'm alive.  
My body aches and protests as I stand up, slowly walking to my mirror. The girl, the thing, that stares back at me, I do not know her.  
My hair is a brown and tangled lion's mane, dried tears and blood have changed the dull colour into something sickly. My face is a crusty mess of tears and horror as bruises litter my face, the purple marks going bone deep. My throat is similar, dark, and outlines of his hands and fingers line around my neck, the thin cuts he made when he was reckless with his knife show, the dried blood blending with the bruises. My body is a mangled mess of fingerprints and deep cuts from the night before, and I can't stop my shaky sob at the blood coated on my legs, my body crumbling down to my knees as I choke on scared breaths.  
“Rachel? Everything okay in there?” A panicked knock sounds on my door, and I cover my mouth as I hear Rosie. Thank god she's okay.  
“Ye….yeah.” I finally manage out, trying to sound normal.  
“Are you sure? Can I come in?” She asks and I'm quickly shaking my head.  
“No! I mean..no. I'll...ill be out in a few.” I sniffle, my whole body shaking.  
“Okay…” I hear her trail off. It's a moment before she walks away, and I sniffle. I need to shower. I need to get ready for work. I...need to ignore this ever happened.  
Rosie would never forgive herself if she found out I was… Hurt… While she was gone. She'd never leave me alone again, she'd call my parents, she'd put me in a fucking hospital!  
I hurry to my feet, ignoring the rush of blood to my head as I hurry to the bathroom, turning the water on scalding hot. I will forget tonight ever happened. The steam in quick rising and fogging the bathroom, and even if I still have tears on my face, I can forget them as I try to boil my skin off, the water turning a foggy brown the second I'm under it.  
I cried. I cried as water worked its way into every cut I got last night. I'm, terrified that he's in my apartment still, hiding. But, I force myself to calm. Rosie is still fine, we should be fine. I really hope we're fine.  
I slowly leave the shower, the water running cold as I come out looking a little more human. I'm shaky as I wrap myself in a towel, slowly putting heavy concealer over bruises on my face and neck, trying to seem normal. I must be normal. I cannot scare Rosie.  
My whole body hurts as I dress myself in my uniform, sick to my stomach as I look at my bed. I'm quick ripping the sheets off and tossing them in a corner of the room. I'll throw them away soon. The smell of dried blood lingers in the room, but there's little I can do as I slowly grab my bag, breathing deeply before I walk out of my room.  
I'm relieved there's nothing obvious missing from the house, slowly coming in and seeing Rosie eating on the couch.  
“Hey, you must of passed out hard last night, the to was still on and you didn't wake when I knocked earlier. You feel okay?” She asks and I nod slowly.  
“Ye...yeah.” I mummer as she tilts her head some.  
“You sure? Maybe you should stay home.” She suggests and I quickly shake my head.  
“No...no no. Gotta...gotta go to work.” I mummer, her face full of concern.  
“Are you sure?” She asks and I nod.  
“Yea.” I mummer.  
“Okay…” She says, watching me carefully as I try to walk out quickly. I breath in the hall of my apartment, my shoulders tensing as I head to the exit, quickly walking out the complex and down the street to my job. The small bakery is safe. I know its safe.  
I hurry inside and avoid contact with Ma or Pop, just heading to the back to start my chores.  
I barely notice the shake of my hands as I pull down flour and other ingredients to start different breads, lagging myself fall into robotic motions. It doesn't take any thinking, I've done this every day for almost four years at this point, what's left to think about? Get all my flour, yeast, salt and water and a couple bowls. Then I start mixing everything before setting it up to rise. I give it thirty minutes to rise, in which that time I use to sweep up flour and start on the batter for muffins, getting them in cups by the time a timer goes off to put the bread in separate pans and in the oven. The muffins go in another oven and I start sweeping again.  
It takes no thinking. Starting one project and moving on to another, barely looking up to see if I'm on time. I know I am. And if not, it can't be too late.  
“Honey, can you do register for me? I have to run to the store, and you know how rude Louis can be, he said he'll come back here.” Mrs. Thomas asks, standing in the doorway. I nod, barely glancing up. “Thank hun, are we low on anything back here?” She asks and I shake my head. “Okay, I'll be back soon.” She says and I sigh, stepping out to the counter, barely bothering to switch from my flour covered apron.  
Maybe I should've said no. Maybe I should of done a lot of things. I heard the bell, and partly glanced up from the baking magazine Mrs. Tomus left on the counter. My whole world paused.  
A couple men came in, all dressed in black and dark colours. Not that they were threatening, it's that the third one to come in made my heart pause. It's only a second till our eyes meet, and I'm having trouble breathing. i feel like I'm about to scream, no no, vomit, God I may even have a heart attack!  
“Mam?” One ask as he slowly reaches the counter. “Are you okay?” He asks and I instantly jerk back, my world going black as my chest pounds heavily. At least I'm breathing. But I wish I wasn't. 

Andy's PoV. 

I watch as my little doe eyed girl stares me down, fear clearly shown in her eyes. I take slow steps, curious of how she'll react. I know she won't have the guts to scream, but she looks like she may puke.  
“Mam? Are you okay?” Of course Jinxx asks, looking at her oddly. It was a split second later as she tried to dash like a deer in the woods, but collapsing under her own feet as if she was shot. “Fuck!” Jinxx swears, instantly coming around the counter as a large man comes from the kitchen, the rest of us gathering quickly, as I genially worry about her. I can't have scared her that bad.  
“Back up!” The large bear of a man orders, quickly turning the girl on her back, obviously knowing what he's doing. “You, go get me a towel with water on it!” He has strong authority, and it's obvious my little doe is used to people being firm with her. Jinxx runs off getting it as the man untied her apron and puts it under her head, pausing as he looks at her wrist, his lips moving in a small snarl.  
“Does...does this happen a lot?” Jakes asks, the man not even looking at us.  
“Sometimes. She has some anxiety issue.” He grunts as Jinxx hands him what he needs, quickly dabbing her face with it, my doe groaning as she turns away.  
“Rachel, stay still.” The man orders gruffly. I shake my head slightly. No compassion in her life it seems.  
“I'm fine.” Her voice is a whisper, and the man just rolls his eyes.  
“Boys, please give us some space.” The man orders, and slowly back off.  
“Damn, poor girl.” Ashley Mumbles, shaking his head as we take a seat outside.  
“She was terrified of you Andy, think she was just amazed men can come in height over 6’2.” CC jokes slightly. We all roll our eyes, and I pull my phone, and save this address. My little doe cannot be scared of me. I must visit her again.


	4. It always comes back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs:  
> It Will Come Back - Hozier https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMhZ18EmlFA  
> Foreigners God - Hozier https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7TAhi8Q3ec

The past few days have been hard. Ives stayed in bed 24/7 at the point, finding that small shadows can scare me. Rosie, isn't sure what to do. But, she doesn't know. She has no idea. I'm not allowed to go to work till I can get myself under control, and, I just haven't had energy to go to classes. My days are starting to consist of just staring at the wall, I can't even truly sleep. Having so many nightmares. So many.  
“Ray...you up?” Rosie asks softly, and I slowly nod. She sighs, sitting on the bed, frowning quietly. “Your parents are coming by tomorrow to check on you, okay? I have to work all day tomorrow.” She says softly and I just nod a little. I, i know she does. “Whatever's going on. I hope you tell me soon.” She says softly. I shrug a little as she just sighs and gets up, leaving me alone again. Again.  
She leaves me with my thoughts, and as I turn on my back to stare at the ceiling, I can’t help the tears pooling in my eyes. Is he following me? Why is he following me? What did I do to deserve this?!  
The questions make me groan, and my hands tangle into my hair angrily, my eyes clenched shut as my chest tightens. It takes everything not to scream, instead whimpering quietly. I let the waves of frustration and panic crash over me and around me, trying to take deep breaths to ground myself again. I’m scared. I'm beyond scared he’s going to come back. How did he know where I work? Does he want to kill me? He...he didn't before, but maybe he thinks i'll tell someone now.  
The thought makes me cry. I don’t want to die, let alone be murdered. What will Rosie think? My family? They’ll never know what truly happened. Unless, unless I told them. But the thought of it makes me feel sick, and i quickly sit up to try and stop myself from puking.  
Taking a deep breath, I force myself to breath in slow patterns like how I was taught in therapy. It helps, a little. Enough that i’m able to stand and look in the mirror. I need to clean myself up, i’m already in for it since Rosie called my parents, making everyone worry.  
It takes effort to brush my hair and shower, finding myself sitting on the shower floor for a while, uneasy as i look at the tiles. He knows where I live, and where I work, maybe it’d be safer if I moved back home for a bit. The thought makes me frown, curling tighter in on myself. I worked really hard to move out, I don’t want to throw it all away now. Sighing, I get up and force myself to look almost normal, breathing in slowly. As long as I keep breathing, i’ll should be okay. I have to be.  
I make myself take my meds, and then work my way into the kitchen. It’s only then do I notice it’s late. Well, fuck. Explains why Rosie dropped by. Shaking my head, I decide to do something nice for her. She’s dealt with my dumb shit for days, she deserves something nice. I make sure her door is shut before i’m pulling ingredients out quickly, the recipe burned in my brain.  
Turning my phone on, I turn on my playlist and am finding myself swaying a little with the soft music that plays. It calms me as i started pouring flour and sugar, finding myself in my happy place, oblivious to the rest of the world around me. This, this is where i’m happiest. My dry lips twitch into a small smile as I continue to stir the bowl, before i’m finding some blueberries for the muffins. Rosie's favorite. She’s always loved the blueberry ones, ever since I started baking. I think it’s just cause she likes blueberries, but then again she’ll eat anything. I don’t know what’d I’d do without Rosie.  
“You know better babe, you know better babe,Than to look at it, look at it like that.” I hum softly with the song, the gentle melody making my eyes shut for a moment. I’ve always loved Hozier's songs, even the cliche song Take me to church that everyone was obsessed with. The way his voice sounds make me melt, the deep tones calming my anxiety in a moment, and I can’t help singing along.  
“Don't give it a hand, offer it a soul, Honey, make this easy.” I hum quietly, starting to pour the batter into tins, my body calm a quiet as I work. “Leave it to the land, this is what it knows, Honey, that's how it sleeps. Don't let it in with no intention to keep it, Jesus Christ! Don't be kind to it, Honey don't feed it - it will come back.” My breath slows with the melody, the night quiet enough it’s all I focus on. But with the next verse, my body wants to shut down.  
“You know better babe, you know better babe, Than to smile at me, smile at me like that.” There's a pair of arms wrapped around my waist, and I feel my whole world crumble down to dust. While Hozier sings deep, it wasn’t as deep as the voice that just whispered the words in my ear.  
My whole body is tense, and I don’t know how to react, how to move, how to fight. I can only assume he has a knife, and it makes a shudder go down my spine. His body is firm, and sways slightly how mine was a few seconds ago. He smells of smoke, cigarette smoke. I can only glance down a bit and see leather wrapped around me, my heart beating faster than a humming birds.  
“You sing beautifully Little Doe, good thing I didn’t ruin that little voice.” He mummers after a moment, my stomach turning to ice. He’s been here for a while… “And you cook, looks good.” I don’t know how im supposed to feel about my rapist and future killer complimenting me, but this can’t be good.  
“Please don’t kill me.” It’s all I could whisper out, my whole body shaking as tears pool. I hear him chuckle, his breaths brushing past my ear gently.  
“Oh Little Doe, your adorable.” He’s gentle as he forces me to put down my spoon and turns me, my back pressed against the counter as he forces me to look at him. His eyes watch me as I shake, the light blue following me as I look anywhere but him. He hums quietly, looking down at me before his hand is under my chin, forcing me to look up at him.  
“You're scared of me.” He states quietly, not that he’s surprised by it. “You sure fell quickly when I came to that little bakery.” He says as my lip quivers. I find myself sobbing under his touch, i’m terrified.  
“Hey, none of that, i’m not hurting you.” He says and I have to try to get myself under control. I could scream… I should scream. But my throat feels locked shut, unable to make any noise. He watches as I try to fight with myself to shut up and not cry, and he’s oddly patient. It takes time till i'm not sobbing as hard, shaky sniffles running through my body as I stand, pinned to the counter. “I’m not hurting you.” He repeats quietly. “I’m going to fix this though. I can’t have my Doe scared of me.” He hums to himself, my eyes widen at that. I don’t like where this is going. Not at all.  
“Do you work tomorrow?’ He asks and I shake my head quietly. “Then, I think I will be by around noon, and you and me can talk, as you are in no mental place to speak.” He’s proud of himself, smiling at that. I quiver under his gaze, praying to whatever god is above me to take me now and drag me to hell, to let the counter swallow me whole, to end my misery and suffering.  
“I will be back my little doe, you just finish cooking and get some rest. I’ll be back soon.” He hum easily, his lips ghosting over my forehead as I feel myself cave in. I’m holding onto the counter for dear life as he steps back, and I watch him walk out my front door as if he was just some friend.  
I let my knees cave in once the door is shut, kneeling on the floor of my kitchen, sobs and shakes racking my body, fearful the the sunrise.  
“She feels no control of her body, She feels no safety in my arms.” The deep voice surrounds me again, and I shudder, listening as my playlist plays, everything feeling broken. “I wanted nothing more than to scream into the quiet night, but I forced myself into silence, a chaotic silence. Chaotic as tears streaked my face, and I prayed for a end to this madness.  
“Screaming the name of a foreigner's God, The purest expression of grief.”

Songs;  
It Will Come Back - Hozier  
Foreigners God - Hozier


	5. The Innocence of White Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late Valentines day nerds

I wanted to beg Rosie to stay. I wanted to cry to her about the man that came back, into our home last night. The man who knows more of me than I know of myself. The man who is tormenting my mind.  
But, she woke up at seven, and smiled at the sight of warm muffins, hugging me and telling me she was happy I was coming back to her. I just had to force a smile and watch her eat breakfast, pretending I was fine. Pretending that I wasn’t crumbling like the muffin she ate, that my insides weren’t the same shades as the baked blueberries.  
“Your parents will be around about lunch, okay? Text me if you need anything.” She says as I nod weakly.  
“I love you Rosie.” I say, genuinely. Her eyes flatter slightly, watching me closely. It’s almost as if she sees how I feel for a moment, reaching her hand out and rubbing my shoulder gently.  
“I love you too, know that. I would do anything for you Ray, my soul is always open if you need to talk.” She says as I stiffly nod. She pulls me into a hug, almost squeezing me too tightly. “Please don’t do anything that’d take you away from me, okay? Your parents will be here soon.” She whispers as I nod, taking a deep breath.  
“I’m fine.” I promise loosely as she nods, slowly letting go of me, sending a small smile. I nod for her to go as she takes a breath, leaving me alone in the small apartment.  
Breathing deeply, I decide I should get dressed. My family will be here soon. He’ll be here soon. Wait, fuck. Oh fuck. My mind finally straightens out and I panic. How did I not realize they'd both be here soon?! I, I can’t fix this!  
I whimper as I sink into the couch, overwhelmed and terrified. I just, have to be strong. Tell him to leave me alone. Yeah, yeah that’ll work. A guy who wouldn’t listen to me as I begged him not to touch me is going to listen when I tell him to leave my apartment. My hands twist in my hair as I try not to scream, ripping brown strands out of my skull as I try to calm myself.  
There's a knock at the door before I can pull myself together, my whole body tensing into the cushion as my eyes stare at the white wood. Something deep in me knows it’s him. I just know it.  
“Little Doe, I know you're in there.” I hear his voice call, almost tauntingly. “Come on and open up, be polite.” Biting my lip, I feel I have no control over my legs as I slowly stand. I’m aware I look like a mess, but there's little I can do now, my hand wrapping around the cold door knob and opening the door up to my nightmare.  
And there he stands, his presence as dark as it’s always been when he’s around. He’s dressed in dark jeans and a leather jacket, his black hair pushed back and his lips stuck in the permanente smirk he seems to have. The only difference to him is he holds a bouquet of white roses, wrapped in light purple paper.  
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, watching me as I watch him. It’s silent, as we take in the other's presence. I flinch back quickly though when he raises a hand to me, forcing myself still as it combs through my tangled hairs.  
“Your not okay.” He says simply after a moment, letting himself the rest of the way in. “But, I can see it’s more than just me that has you troubled.” He says shutting the door. He glances at me, as I just stand helpless as he seems comfortable here, unsure what I even can do.  
“These are for you.” His voice lowers, standing in front of me, his touch and movements gentle as he passes the flowers over. He smiles slightly, almost as if he’s trying to comfort me. “Why don’t you put them in a vase?” His tone is gentle, almost soothing as I nod quietly, my feet guiding me into the kitchen. I hear him sit at our island as I grab a crystal clear vase, carefully filling it and setting the flowers in.  
“White roses symbolise innocence. The pure colour also symbolises new beginnings.” His voice is deep, and the only thing I can focus on in the quiet room. “Even damaged as you are, you give off such a strong impression of innocence and purity.” He says smoothly. I just bite my lip, keeping my back to him as I set the roses on the counter, soft light coming from the window. It’s grey light, cloudy out, but still light.  
Taking a breath, I pull a muffin from the container I had set them in only a half hour ago. I hold it tenderly, all my movements measured as I turn and set it infront of him. If he’s going to be calm and collected, I might as well try to be too. He sends a kind smile, I don’t think he expected kindness back after everything that’s happened.  
“Thank you Rachel.” His voice is smooth, and I can’t help noticing that the way he talks, at least of right now, is how you would speak to a frightened deer. I nod softly as we fall back into silence, and he takes a first bite, juice from the cooked blueberries coating his tongue in a dark purple. It’s, it’s almost a very human and grounding motion, settling the muscles in my back briefly.  
But, as he eats, I recognise that it’s time some questions are answered, especially in a time like this. There’s so many things I need to ask and say I almost feel them all piling in the back of my throat, waiting to tumble out and ask him, accuse him, belittle him, and abuse him with words that never pass my lips. But, even though I have all these things I want to say, the only word I manage out is, “Why?”  
He watches me, seeming to understand that our almost domestic and calm moment is over, and that now it’s time to be serious. He sighs, setting the half eaten muffin down and glances at me. Only for a second do I see remorse, it flashes over his eyes briefly before it seems a wall stands back up.  
“Why what?” He asks simply. The words send a deep shake through my bones, anger and hurt run through my veins briefly.  
“Why me?! Why did you come back?! Why do you keep coming back?!” My voice starts off loudly, breaking as I break down, tears streaking my cheeks. I find myself whispering the question in the end, my hands twisting in my hair upset. He watches me as I break down, silent as I cry to myself. He stays quiet for a long, torturous long moment.  
“Because, Little doe, I was going to leave you alone after I had damaged you, but it seems fate wanted me to come back to you, and who am I to deny fate what it wants?” He asks, calm as he speaks slowly.  
“Why did you do _it _though?” I whimper lowly, unable to look at him. I hear his sigh, the space between us tense as I wait for a answer.__  
“I...don’t know.” He says quietly. “I just, wanted you. I didn’t realise what I had done till I left, and you were passed out.” He says quietly, a solemn look in his eye. “But, I want to make it up to you, I promise you, I can fix this.” He says. “You just have to trust me, okay?” He asks, his eyes forcing contact. I can’t look away from them, and have to bite my lip, the words stuck in the back of my throat.  
And they will stay stuck, as a sharp knock on my door draws both of our attentions. He sends me a glance, his face silently asking me who it is as a shiver runs down my body as panic does as well. Well, fuck.  
“It’s my parents.” I mummer, his eyes widening.  
“Go clean yourself up, I’ll distract them for a few.” He instructs quickly, and I nod as I get up, passing by him.  
“Hey,” He says patting my shoulder, “My name is Andy by the way.” He says softly, and I have to smile a little at that.  
“Rachel.” I say softly. And while I never agreed in a traditional sense for this to be fixed, with the simple gesture, we both agreed to try and repair this.

__Andy's pov_ _

__I wait until Rachel is in the bathroom before I opened the door, a older version of my Little Doe stands there, obviously startled by my appearance. I don’t blame her, I tower over her and surely only give off bad impressions just based on how I look.  
“Who are you?” Unlike my Doe though, she’s bold, pushing past me into the apartment while her words snap at me.  
“Andy.” I say simply, rolling my eyes as she has her back to me.  
“Where's Rachel?” She asks firmly, eyes searching for something.  
“Bathroom.” I reply simply again, making myself comfy on the couch as her face softens and nods slightly.  
“Why are you here?” She asks, her voice lowering in volume, I assume to keep my Doe in the dark.  
“I came to check in on her.” I reply smoothly, the woman's lips softening from the firm line there were in hearing that. I can just assume my Doe doesn’t have many friends or people who show her kindness in her life, as I quickly observe as she steps out of the bathroom, managing to not seem like she had just tried to pull her hair out or had a break down all night. Her mother sworms her, speaking so quickly I hardly have a chance to hear and process each word, my poor Doe seeming overwhelmed as she talks at her, not even to her. But I stay quiet, observing how she is as a person. The only other time I had this chance was at the bakery, and that didn’t go very well.  
“Mom, i’m fine. Rosie and Andy have done just fine checking in with me. I’m fine.” She assures quietly, her voice much softer than her mothers. Her mother glances at me and I send a kind smile, trying to not seem like the evil guy she first assumed I was. Sure, I’ve done bad, but that between me and Rachel.  
“Are you sure? Do I need to call Dr. Stone?” Her voice lowers I guess so I don’t hear, but yet I do, not pleased with the dark look that falls over Does face.  
“No. You don’t.” Her words are firm, and had they not been under these circumstances I’d be very proud. I’m still proud, but it was obvious she needed to do this. The moment is over quickly though, my Doe face softening as she sighs. “Tea?” She asks her mother who nods, and glances at me and I just shake my head. She nods and quickly fleas the scene, her mother standing there for a moment before sitting at the other couch, eyes locking on me.  
“How has she really been?” She asks me quietly, desperate for a true answer it seems.  
“Fine, I think she just needed some rest.” I say easily as she frowns.  
“Do you, happen to know what triggered all this?” She asks and I shake my head. She sighs, not pleased by the answer, frowning down at her phone.  
It’s silent until Doe comings back, shaky legs and shaky hands carrying a white mug and a muffin, making me smile slightly. She's sweet, very. A fragile, but sweet Doe, with good manners. She surely knows how to host guest, and I can’t help but wonder if it was her mother that forced this knowledge into her, or something she learned over time.  
“How did you meet Andy? You hadn’t mentioned him in phone calls.” Her mother asks cooly, too calm integrating her daughter.  
“We met at the bakery, I was there when she took that fall.” I say, smiling slightly as my Doe sends a thankful look. I can’t help sending her a soft nod and sigh softly, things are going to work out, I know it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly just been feeling kind of crappy, lot of negative emotions will probably be filtered into this story, so, i'm sorry about that. Better than just keeping them in my head? I guess? It'll keep The Starting of Something Little a bit more light hearted at least.  
> Hope you all had a great day today. <3


	6. Knives Made of Antler

“Look whos alive.” Louis's voice taunts as I walk into the bakery, the sun still rising behind me. I smile slightly at him, shrugging.  
“Kinda.” I hum softly, Louis's face falling slightly.  
“Hey, come on, we need you, you can't go off dying now.” He says as I chuckle softly.  
“I'm not going anywhere, promise.” I say softly as he smiles a little.  
“Good, because I can't bake well enough to keep this place afloat.” He teases as I smile.  
“On it, any orders today?” I ask as I put my stuff up and he nods.  
“Lady wants some of those princess cupcakes you do by two, but we need to stock back up on muffins and breads. I can start baking the cupcakes and some of the breads, just start of your muffins and banana bread.” He instructs, and I nod quickly, falling into work mode.  
It's second nature, muscle memory ask start pulling flour and sugar, doing the same routine I've done for the past three years. I could do this with my eyes closed, knowing where everything in the kitchen in, Louis working on the other side with the breads he's good at, and mom and pop working on donuts for the early birds that come by. It's calming, everyone working in motion. We have a few teens that come by later in the day and do dishes and bake simpler things, and a guy who comes every other day and does cakes, but today is a quiet day. We all work in sync, and quickly, trying to prepare everything we can as quickly and correctly as we can, only having so many ovens.  
I lose myself in my work as I whisk together batter, my eyes falling to the pure white liquid that is gradually growing in colour with the blue berrys. Breathing slowly, I pause. He flashes across my mind for a moment, and my whole body pauses.  
He lied to my mother yesterday, so well she believed it. He was still there when Rosie came home, and my mother gladly informed her about him. But, he took it in stride, he barely blinked as my overactive mother showed him off like a piece of meat. He watched me throughout the day, seemingly observing me, before he stood up at four, sending a smile my way.  
“Text me if you need anything, alright? I'll be by again.” He was so cool as he said it, and after the day had passed I found his number resting innocently on a napkin. And, I had texted him, giving him my number, and that was that. We hadn't said anything else to each other.  
Taking a deep breathe force myself back to work, Louis watching me closely. He's a quiet man, but an observant one. Tall, and bulky, and strong. His face shows he knows something up, but we don't speak. I just send a nod his way as I work on putting batter in tins and hurry to work and catch up on things I've missed out on. We hardly do speak under normal circumstances, no need for him to worrying over me now, is there?  
I’m diligent as I work, easily setting out fresh pastries in the display case, a few regular customers checking out with Mrs. Thomas, sending small smiles my way and curious looks, as I haven’t been in the shop a few days. I just send nods their way, humming softly as Louis sets vanilla cupcakes that need to be decorated, and I send a thankful nod his way as I take them to the icing area.  
I don’t get to do it often, we don’t get many orders for cupcakes, and our cake guy often takes care of decorating the cakes when we need them done, so I’m happy that I get to do this. It’s a skill I learned early on in school and wish I could spend more time practicing. I’m sure I could, Mrs and Mr Thomas don’t mind when I try out new things at the bakery, but I just don’t often have the energy to do so. It’s a lot of work, careful and delicate work, that I appreciate.  
It’s nice work though, as I mix icing together and get the little details needed. Edible glitter is often loved by the little kids, and I smile fondly remembering how kids often react to their treats. It’s good to think about as I carefully start icing each cupcake, engrossed in each little detail. It’s a good thing to be distracted by, in my opinion, not harmful, and it’ll bring joy to others soon.  
I don’t notice I’m being watched, not until I’m almost done with the batch, feeling eyes on me. Quickly looking up, my eyes lock into cool blue ones, a gentle smile running on his lips. I blush shyly, setting my cupcake down and stepping over to the counter.  
“How can I help you Andy?” I ask softly as he chuckles.  
“I texted you about a hour and half ago, but I figured you were at work, and now I see how hard of a worker you are.” He says as I looks down, nodding slightly.  
“Can I get you anything?” I ask as he hums softly nodding.  
“What would you recommend?” He asks, and I smile perking up slightly.  
“Louis’s Pumpkin bread, it’s heavenly, and a good fall classic, should still be warm.” I ramble on as Andy smiles.  
“I’ll take two slices, and, how about after you get off work I take you somewhere?” He says as I pause, glancing up at him slowly. I feel the shudder of fear go down my back, and concern clouds Andy's eyes. He leans a little over the counter, his voice lowering as he watches me. “You’ll be safe, I promise. We can go somewhere public, and I’ll give you a knife to defend yourself, okay? I really, really want to spend time with you.” He says softly, as I take in a shaky breath, slowly nodding.  
He smiles slightly, standing back straight and looking down at me as I slowly pull two pieces of bread, bagging them. I glance at the cash register, Mrs. Thomas watching us closely, curious that I’m speaking with someone, I even can see Louis’s stare from the back. I flush slightly as I hand the bread over.  
“I get off at three.” I say as he smiles, nodding.  
“I will be waiting.” He assures, before going and paying for the bread, leaving without another word.  
With Andy gone, Mrs. Thomas is quick turning to me, eyes watching me, evaluating every part of me. She bites her lip for a moment, obviously unsure what to even say or do. She is a timid woman, and all I can offer is a assuring look, but I know it isn’t very convincing by how she frowns. Louis isn’t as timid as he comes out for the back, brushing flour on his apron and frowning at me.  
“What’s going on Rachel?” He asks, voice hard and heavy.  
“Nothing.” I shake my head as he watches me, stepping closer to me, ignoring how I step back.  
“No, there's something. You look terrified of him.” He says firmly. “He was here that day you passed out, I remember him. Did he hurt you?” He asks me as I sigh, shaking my head as I take a breath.  
“I’m fine, he’s just being friendly, he wanted to know how I was.” I say picking my icing back up as Louis frowns deeply.  
“I know you got that social anxiety issue or whatever, but you never, and I mean never have looked so scared of a person that just wanted to talk.” He states clearly as I bite my lip.  
“He isn’t wrong sweetie, I thought that man was trying to rob us, did you see how he was dressed?” Mrs. Thomas cuts in as I sigh.  
“I’m fine, I promise, he’s just being friendly.” I say as Louis scowls.  
“I don’t like him.” He mutters walking of as Mrs. Thomas stays, sending a sad look.  
“You know, if anything is going on, you can speak with me, right hun?” She asks softly as I nod.  
“Of course Mrs. Thomas. I promise, i’m okay.” I assure her as she sighs, taking in a breath and nodding.  
“If you say so.” She says but backs off, and i’m thankful for that. Sighing, I finish working on my cupcakes and set them in a container to go for later, before retreating to the back and start cleaning up my area, having not much else to do.  
It’s about the end of my shift when I see Louis again, and unlike normal he doesn’t just walk past me, but instead looks at me with pity. He takes a small breath, before holding his hand out, holding a simple switch blade.  
“I want you to have this, okay? It’s been rough out there lately, and if you want I can drive you home, you shouldn’t be walking out there, even at this time of day.” He says forcing the knife in my hand, my whole body tensing.  
“Oh, Louis, I can’t take this.” I say softly as he shakes his head stubbornly.  
“Take it, I… I just want you safe.” He says as I nod slowly, smiling a little.  
“Thank you Louis.” I say softly as he nods. Shrugging slightly.  
“It’s not a problem, just be safe Rachel.” He says as I nod, hanging up my apron, slipping the knife in my back pocket slowly.  
“I will, I promise.” I smile slightly at him as he nods backing off.  
Taking a breath, I grab my bag and quickly just head out of the bakery, pausing as I find Andy leaning against a sleek black car. He’s smoking, and while I wish to cringe, he does look good as he slowly kills himself.  
His lips twitch up as he sees me, sunglasses hiding most of his expression, but he does seem pleased to see me, which sends a odd thrill down my spine. I’m cautious as I walk his way, knowing it’s now or never really. What can go wrong?  
_He can literally kidnap you, and rape you again, and finish the job!?! ___  
My phone body tenses as the thought runs across my brain, knowing very well, it’s not wrong. It’s one of the reasons I had so many breakdowns in the course of a few days, scared of how he would hurt me again, if he’ll hurt me again, and when. It almost makes me stop walking, but I trek forward, taking a deep breath.  
“Hey.” His voice is deep, but light and smooth, all things it shouldn’t be.  
“Hey.” I greet back as he smiles. It seems genuine, something I just don’t see much.  
“I was thinking we could go for lunch?” He asks, opening the car door for me as I smile slightly, nodding.  
“Sounds good.” I say softly as he grins, eyes watching as I slide in his car. I take a breath as he shuts the door, my eyes finding Louis’s watching me closely, not approving as Andy gets in the car. I send a quick smile, but I don’t think he saw as Andy pulled out the parking lot. It’s silent a moment, almost awkward as we adjust to our setting.  
“There's a knife in that glove box for you, it’s in the leather casing.” He says after a moment. “You can use the other one too if you want, promise you that’s where all my knives are.” He says as I pause, mildly disturbed but pull open the glove box, finding what he’s talking about. I pull the knife in the leather, pausing at the feel of the leather.  
“It’s deer leather. I...I went and got it for you. The handle is made out of antler too.” He says, my eyes wide as I pull it out, fingers clutching the bone, finding small words engraved in it.  
_‘Protect yourself Doe’_  
“Andy, this had to of been expensive.” I whisper as he shakes his head.  
“It’s a gift to you, after everything that happened. I have a friend who does these too.” He shrugs slightly, not even seeming bothered. I bite my lip as I slide the knife back in its holder, looking at my lap, and glancing at the other knife. A dark shudder goes down my throat, remembering that knife very, very well. I slam the box shut quickly, startling Andy it seems.  
“Thank you.” I say softly as he smiles.  
“Not a problem Doe.” He hums softly, letting us fall back into silence. I don’t break it and neither does he, and even if he tried, i’m more distracted by the knife in my hand, unsure how I should even feel. There's something dark in me, that wants to know how this knife feels against me, but reasonably, I keep it in its case, knowing better than that.  
Andy pulls up to a small dinner, parking and quickly getting out and opening my door as I blush slightly. I smile at him silently in thanks and he nods in welcome. Someone that understands in communication without talking! But he doesn’t understand the word No. I shake the thought out of my head, Andy taking my hand and leading me inside with a large stride in his step.  
We’re seated within a moment, Andy sitting across from me and sending a reassuring smile my way. Everything says not to trust him, yet, I find myself leaning into him blindly. _Who am I? What am I even doing? ___  
“How was work?” He pulls me from my thoughts easily though, and I smile slightly.  
“Good. Love what I do.” I say softly as he nods.  
“I can tell, you seem very relaxed and at home there.” He says as I blush. “You look good cooking, it come naturally to you it seems.” He says as I shrug.  
“Lots of hours in the bakery and classes.” I say as he nods.  
“Understandable, surely it took time to have everything memorised and such.” He nods respectfully.  
“Yeah.” I say softly as a waiter hands us menus, barely even bothering to glance at us.  
We fall back in silence, looking at our menus. I feel his gaze on me every now and then, but I avoid looking up, not until our waiter comes back. I feel tense, but I don’t know if he feels it.  
“I’ll just have a burger, side of fries.” Andy's voice is smooth, and I have to take a deep breath, trying to steady my heart rate, I always hate speaking for myself. I just, always have.  
“I’ll have the grilled cheese, and fries.” I mummer quietly as out obviously bored waiter nods, walking off. Andy has a light, amused smile on his face, and i’m not sure why. If only I knew what went through his head.  
“Your cute, Little Doe. So nervous, timid, like a little deer.” He hums easily once the waiter is gone. “It’s quite adorable really, even when you try to be all big and tough, your just a scared baby Doe.” His voice is a smooth coo, my body almost able to melt in it. I just shrug slightly at his words, biting my lip.  
“Why do you call me Doe?” I ask softly as he hums, ginning slightly.  
“The first time I saw your eyes, wide and frantic as I held you against the wall, you looked like a scared Little Doe, inches from having a heart attack. You looked like you were a deer in headlights, unsure what to do, and the way you fought so weakly, i’ve hunted deer with more fight to them.” He says, my eyes wide as he talks smoothly, not a hiccup in his words. “Your so, timid, to everything around you. You walk with such caution in your step, like a deer being hunted. And your eyes, they’re beautiful and wide like a Doe's.” He just hums lightly, shrugging. “I like it.”  
I process his words, my mouth feeling dry and I just quickly take a drink, taking a deep breath as this man has obvious observed me more than I could even think. It’s a lot to take in, I don’t even know how to, honestly. What do I even say?  
“You like to hunt.” It’s a statement, and Andy smiles slightly.  
“At times. I like to trap more so, but I know how to shoot.” He confirms as I nod slowly. “Not much good hunting to do in California, but i’m from Ohio, and during the winter, hunting is a great pass time.” He says as I nod.  
“Never gone hunting.” I say as he smirks.  
“I wouldn’t think so Doe, your so shaky, if you tried to fire a shot, it would go everywhere.” He says as I blush. “But i’m sure you could do beautiful things with a good cut of meat.” He says as I nod.  
“More of a baker, but I do know how to do full courses.” I say as he smiles.  
“Good, i’ll remember that.” He says easily as our food comes back, and I don’t think I realised just how hungry I was. He thanks the waiter easily, and silence falls back over us, but I guess the food was worth it.  
He treated me like a gentlemen through lunch, managing conversation when I felt things were too awkward, and charmed me with his wide branches of knowledge. He seems well rounded, and i’m almost jealous at just how much he seems to know. But he can talk about anything it seems, and I like that about him.  
Wait, I like something about him? Oh. Oh no. I shouldn’t feel this way, should I? No, no way. My hand clenches the knife in my hand as he drives me home, my breath feeling tense. My rib cage just may collapse under me honestly. I feel like i’m dying from the inside out.  
There's a heavy hand on my arm making my whole body jerk, Andy pulled to the side of the road, eyes locking on me. Concern clouds his icy eyes as the lock on me, evaluating me silently before he speaks.  
“Doe, you're not breathing, you need to breath.” He says softly, making me face him as I feel the burning in my lungs, air not understanding the basic concept to come into my body. “Rachel,” My name is a harsh slap from him almost, surprising and definitely not expected. “You need to breath, take in a breath, now.” His voice is a firm order, and my whole body shudders as fire comes into my lungs, deep breaths shaking my vision. “Good girl, good good girl.” Andy shushes as I gasp for air, tears clouding my face. He doesn’t let me run off or push him away as I panic, just holding my hand down as I try to fix myself, my shoulders shaking in sobs.  
“Shh, shh doe, your fine, your safe.” He promises softly. “I will make sure your safe, I promise.” He assures as my vision clears.  
The car goes silent as air returns to normal, and my tears slow, Andy releasing my hands as I hurriedly clean myself up and he starts the car back up, and we act like nothing happened. At least, I do, he keeps sending concerned glances my way.  
Pulling up to my apartment, i’m exhausted, and as he has for most the night, he insists on opening my door. I smile thankfully, getting out and try to hand him his knife back, but he shakes his head silently, pushing it back in my hands.  
“It's yours Little Doe, you have to stay safe.” He says as I blush, but nod softly. “I’m going to walk you back up to your apartment, make sure your safe.” He promises, taking my hand and guiding me like a child into my apartment. I just blush as we stand outside my door, but he smiles softly, lips brushing along my hairline, protective.  
“Be safe Little Doe, I wish to take you out again.” He says as I smile, nodding slightly.  
“Sounds good.” I whisper as he nods, stepping back.  
“I’ll text.” That’s his last words before he’s walking away, and I take a breath, opening my door and am met with a very concerned and worried Rosie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is having a good day!


	7. The Wolf with a Knife

Nights and days are long. Course, the length time feels is much different than how time actually moves. It’s a unstoppable force, its our minds that choose to stop it, slow it down, even speed it up. Our perspective is always changing, from opinions, to morals, to our relations with others. They can be affected by drugs and drinking, or by just simply our moods. Perspective is always changing and spinning around us, and as much as we try to control it, we can’t.  
Maybe that's why I don’t feel so scared of Andy now. I know exactly what he's capable of doing, yet I don’t have the fear I used to have of him. He’s a oddly attractive creature, and is almost too smart. There's something about how he talks, that you just know he’s a genius, or at the least close to it. There’s definitely more in his brain than he gives off, I see it in his texts. The messages range from short and straight forward, to lng sentences that keep me in a trance. Yes, Andy has pulled me into a trance.  
“Ray, you gonna stare at your salad all day or actually eat it?” Rosie cuts in my thoughts, my eyes glancing up from the green and purple leaves before letting the corner of my mouth fall into a smile  
“Sorry, just thinking.” I say before shoving a bite in my mouth. She rolls her eyes at me, leaning a elbow on the table top.  
“Yeah, I could tell.” She hums. “Cucumber for your thoughts?” She asks, sliding over a thin slice as I laugh lightly. I pop it in my mouth with a playful look on my face, smiling slightly as she waits for me to continue.  
“Just thinking about Andy.” His name is odd on my tongue, but it's out there. Rosie is quick perking up, quickly intrigued by whatever I have to say. It’s not often a new person comes into my life, let alone a guy, or one that's so, different.  
“Yeah? What about him?” She prompts, eyes wide and innocent as she waits. I feel myself blush, shrugging quietly. We haven’t hung out in a few days, not since the diner, but he did want to go out this evening.  
“He wants to go do something tonight.” I say simply as she smiles.  
“That’s great! Oh my god, I’m so excited for you!” She exclaims quickly. “Any idea what you guys are going to do?” She asks and I shake my head slightly. It kind of bothers me I don’t know, but at the same time, excites me.  
“Probably dinner, given the time.” I say as she nods, a almost too happy look on her face. She’s easily my biggest supporter, and any positive change I make in my life, she will always be behind. I think she’s mostly happy i’m leaving the apartment, and i’m talking to another living person.  
“You know what your going to wear?” She asks and I nod. I have some kind of idea. “Did you tell your parents?” She asks and I shake my head.  
“Not yet, i’ll see if anything comes of this first.” I say as she nods.  
“She’s been asking about you.” She says as I frown, the topic and mood changing quickly.  
“Why hasn’t she texted me?” I ask, knowing very well she hasn’t checked in with me. Rosie gets a guilty look on her face, biting her lip.  
“She’s worried about you.” She says quietly. “She thinks you need to visit Dr. Stone again.” She says softly, my lips falling in a thin line.  
“I don’t.” My voice is sharp, and Rosie flinches back from it.  
“I know, I know.” Her voice soothes. “She’s just worried that something's going on and you aren’t telling us.” She explains as I frown.  
“I’m fine. Nothing is going on.” I say firmly as she nods.  
“Promise?” She asks quietly. I soften my face, sighing lowly as I slump back in my seat some, losing interest in my fork and setting it aside.  
“Promise.” I say softly, glancing at her. “I’m fine, more than fine.”  
But I know its a lie, my tongue twisting angrily at me as I lie to my friend, my sister. I wish to tell her about those days I didn’t leave my room, how I cried terribly. How the knife Andy gave me sits on my bedside, and all through the night I consider just taking it and making the night my last. These are painful thoughts, I don’t like them.  
Lunch ends shortly after that, and Rosie goes on her way to do something else as I stay behind and work on tidying the kitchen. Anything to keep me busy, so I don’t have time to think to hard. Thinking will be the death of me, surely. I don’t have time or the capability to think too much. Thinking too much isn’t good, or healthy.  
I slowly head back to my room once there's nothing left to do, the kitchen clean and tidy. Rosie knows not to move things to much, I like spices and seasonings in certain spots. Everything has a place, a place to return at the end of the day. Sometimes I feel I don’t have a certain space in this world, even though my feet are firmly planted in this apartment. I feel i’ll never leave this place, even though, i’m sure one day I will.  
As the sun starts to get lower in the sky, I change into something more graceful. The pale grey sweater hangs off me, and i’m lucky my jeans don’t look to baggy, pulling my hair back into a ponytail. I don’t look too terrible, clasping my grandmother's necklace around my neck, the thin silver chain with a simple heart pendant. It’s small, and comforting as my fingers wrap around it. And, it’s oddly comforting as I take Andy’s knife and attach it to my jean pocket, my sweater covering it easily. Taking a breath, I slide on my shoes and send another look to the mirror as I hear a sharp knock at the apartment door.  
I’m quick grabbing my purse, leaving my room quickly as Rosie answers the door, a wide grin on her face as I blush, catching sight of Andy leaned on our door frame, calm and chill as ever. His eyes are cool as the glance over her to me, his pale lips twitching up to a smile.  
“Nice to see you Rosie.” He greets her smoothly as she smiles a little wider.  
“Same to you Andy.” She says stepping aside, sending a look my way, excitement for me clear in her features. “You kids be good now.” She taunts, teasing slightly as I blush a bit more. Andy grins, almost predatorily as I step over.  
“We will.” He smiles, standing fully and looking down to me. “You look lovely.” He says, eyes lighting up as I blush and smile shyly.  
“You look good too.” I whisper. And, he does. He can pull off wearing some old band tee and jeans with a leather jacket almost too well. He’s like a modern James Dean, and it makes me blush at the thought, feeling shyness creep up my spine as he takes my hand and leads the way out the apartment. We’re both quiet as we come down to his car, and I smile in thanks as he opens my door for me. A gentlemen.  
We don’t say anything for a good few moments, the silence surrounding us easily. I watch as he takes a cigarette and silently offers me one. Shaking my head, he just nods slightly before lighting his, rolling a window down. I smile at the small action, glad he acknowledges second hand smoke.  
“Where are we going?” I break the silence, Andy's lips instantly going up in a smile at my voice.  
“Do you trust me?” He answers with a question, and I tilt my head slowly.  
“Yes?” I ask softly as he grins.  
“Then you’ll see, Doe face.” He hums and I just have to laugh slightly.  
“Okay, okay wolf.” I grin, giggling as his eyebrows go up.  
“Wolf?” He asks and I nod.  
“If your going to call me Doe, I have every right to call you wolf.” I giggle, oddly growing comfortable with the man who hurt me. He smiles after a moment, a almost proud smile.  
“I like it.” He says and I almost beam.  
“You do?” I ask and he nods, eyes staying on the road, but I can tell he’s pleased.  
“Means I can eat you.” He teases as I blush, shaking my head.  
“Rude.” I say as he laughs.  
“I never said I was good, Doe.” We both seem to fall into seamless conversation, growing comfortable with the other as he drives.  
Maybe, he isn’t so bad. It’s a terrible thought, but I can’t help smiling and laughing at his words, growing comfortable with his presence and open to him like I would Rosie. Course, i find myself relaxing much quicker with him, letting him sneak past walls that feel as old as time, letting him crawl in the shadows to get to the core of, me.  
I trust him as he drives away from the city, and the sun starts to lower, the sky vivid oranges and reds. His hand rests on my thigh as the overcast sets in, and when I look at Andy he almost looks golden in the late sun, basked in the warm light.  
I’m so enticed by the beauty that is Andy, I don’t notice that he’s parked until he looks at me, smiling lightly. His eyes are warm, and unlike that dark night, I see no threat in them. Just care. And i’m sure if Rosie knew the true meaning behind those eyes she would of never opened the door to them.  
“Ready?” He asks and I nod, easily slipping out the car before he can open my door, sending a teasing smile his way as he heads to the trunk. I watch curiously as he pulls out a tote bag, and I take in my surroundings. Were in the woods, well, more a park maybe. I don’t question it though as he takes my hand, leading me away from the car. I have to chuckle as we end up at the top of a hill, pausing as I see the city lights.  
“I like to come up here in the evenings, its so, quiet and peaceful.” He speaks, his voice wrapping around me as I smile.  
“It’s beautiful.” I confirm, and we find ourselves watching the city as we sit on some blanket.  
“I can name a prettier sight, but to show you i’d need a mirror.” He says as I flush, looking at my hands.  
“Your a dork.” I mummer as he grins, all teeth.  
“I thought I was a wolf?” He teases and I have to laugh.  
“Shut up.” I giggle, and he shakes his head at me, unpacking some containers.  
“Never, Doe.” He hums. “And, i’m sure i’m not as good of a cook as you, but I tried.” He shrugs. I just smile widely, the jester beyond sweet.  
“Trying is key.” I say as he rolls his eyes.  
“It is, but there are some things some people just shouldn’t keep trying.” He says as I snort.  
“True.” I hum. “My grandmother couldn’t cook, she’d always forget something. Poor soul only wanted to cook for me every day though, to ‘try and lift my spirits’ she’d say.” I sigh, Andy's eyes watching me closely. “Loved her though, so i’d eat every burnt cookie or bland meatloaf she made, so she’d smile.” I say as Andy chuckles.  
“Well, I hope your honest with me if it sucks.” He says, taking a forkful from a container he opened and presses it to my lips, grinning as I blush and slowly take the bite. It’s just potato salad, but there's something to it that makes me raise a eyebrow, Andy suddenly getting a nervous look on his face. I grin a little at how much he seems to want my good opinion, taking my time on critiquing him.  
“So…?” Poor wolf is impatient though, and I have to giggle at the worry on his face.  
“It’s lovely Andy.” I say, smiling at the relief clear in his features.  
“You had me worried there for a moment.” He says as I laugh.  
“Oh I know.” I grin to him, loving the way his eyes light up playfully.  
“Rude rude Doe.” He chuckles, pressing another forkful to my lips.  
We end up feeding each other as the sun goes down, Andy packing small sandwiches and pretzels as well, and we’d both laugh as the other took bites and we talked, teasing the other. The sunlight was gorgeous, and as it disappeared, the city lights were beautiful. The lit up the sky as much as the sun, and even though Andy lit a few candles, we didn’t truly need them.  
I squeal as Andy's arms wrap around me, and pulls me so i’m leaning against his chest before he lays back, letting my head rest on him, hearing his heart beat as we looked up to find the faint glances of stars. I found myself finding comfort in his arms as he held me down to him, and we both watched the sky in silence for a few long moments.  
“Andy?” I break the silence first, my eyes never leaving the stars above us. He hums, his breath hitting my ear as I'm pulled a little tighter to him. I take a breath, waiting a moment to speak. “Why were you in my apartment that night?” I ask as he sighs, not speaking for a few long moments.  
“I wanted to kill.” He starts off, his voice low. “Your apartment was just the easiest to get into. Your windows are unlocked. I knew that two people lived in the apartment. I knew it'd be a struggle, but still easy at the same time.” He explains, ice filling my veins.  
“You...kill people?” I ask quietly, growing scared as he goes quiet. It's another long moment before he even dares answering me.  
“A few times, I have. Hunting just doesn't satisfy me sometimes.” He says, his voice almost falling in a purr as I shudder.  
“Do you...do you want to kill me?” I struggle to find the words, and tense as he chuckles loudly.  
“No, never anyone I know.” He hums. “And, I can't kill a sweet little Doe.” He coos and I find myself blushing. “As sweet as you are though, your no where near innocent, are you? You dirty doe.” His voice is a low growl in my ear as a hand holding me against him slides down between my legs, chuckling as I squeal.  
“Andy!” I whimper, eyes wide as he unbuttons my pants with one hand.  
“Do you want me to stop?” The questions is a huge shock to me, and so is my answer, as I shake my head, gasping as I feel his touch again. “Your so wet already doe, does fear turn you on? Do you like being a scared doe?” He nips my ear, rough kisses trailing down my neck as he talks. I don't answer, just pant as he shifts positions, my back ending up on the thin blanket, wide eyed as Andy gets on top of me, his lips latching onto mine as his fingers tease my entrance, not being gentle either.  
My hands go to touch him, and I cry out as he is quick to stop touching me and force my hands over my head, releasing me from his kiss, eyes wide as they look down at me.  
“No touch, only feel my doe.” He purrs, grinning as he looks down at me. I watch him pull his knife from my pocket, the cold metal going against my neck within a moment. “God, you look so beautiful when your scared, I love it.” He grins, trailing the knife over my collarbone teasingly. “So pale too, so easy to see when I accidently cut you.” And as he speaks, he drags the blade in my shoulder, smirking as I cry out. I whimper as I watch his long tongue drag along the blade, lips stained red as he chuckles. He leans back over, attaching his lips like a pesky leech, and I feel his devient tongue run over the wound.  
“Andy!” Whimpering in the warm ground, my stomach flips as he chuckles, his lips locking onto mine again. I can taste my own blood, the metallic liquid moving between us as his lips practically suck the life out of me.  
“You like this, you naughty little girl.” He growls as his hand slides back in my pants, abandoning my hands, too easily rubbing and making me whimper.  
I gasp as he is quickly undressing me, barely having enough thought to be nervous that we are outside. Under the darkness, Andy seems almost god like as he ragdolls me, the city lights reflecting in his predator like eyes as a knife is held to my throat.  
“I'm going to fuck you senseless, till I have to carry you like an injured doe.” He growls, and I find myself nodding, wanting it, begging for it.  
“Please, please Andy.” Whimpering lowly is what sent him over the edge, as in the next second I was a moaning mess, careless of the cold metal to my throat or how his fingers dig in my flesh, surely leaving bruises for the days to come.  
I gasp as there's a cut on my collarbone, my back arching and pressing against him as his lips attach to the thin line, sucking and biting the pale skin. I can't stop the low moan in my throat, withering under his grasp and touch. He can play me like a violin, too easily make me moan and whimper at the simple touches.  
“Fuck, Doe, fucking tight as all hell.” He growls, his thrusts going deeper, my whole body shaking as I struggled to take in breaths. I cry out as I feel his teeth against my neck, lips attached and sucking as I feel myself get closer to the edge already.  
Who would thought that a knife held to me, some blood, and Andy's dirty words could drive a woman mad? Well, they do. He groans loudly as my body is thrown into an orgasm, clenching around him and sucking the soul from him, forcing his hips to stutter and for him to paint the inside of my white.  
I'm breathless as his thrusts slow down, staring up at the faint stars as he slowly pulls out and lays beside me, both of us a mess. His arm wraps around me, pulling me tightly to him as he gives gentle butterfly like kisses to my cheek.  
“Such a good doe, God your beautiful.” He coos quietly in my ear, my face flushing as I regain my breath. His hand brushes through my hair as we settle in the afterglow, the world moving around us as if we aren’t even there.  
It’s a good while before we even sit up, and I bite my lip as I feel the soreness course through my body, Andy grinning lightly as he dresses himself again, before helping me get dressed.  
“Told you.” He teases gently, and I just blush. “Come on, I got a first aid kit in my car, lets clean those cuts.” He hums, casually sliding the knife he gave me back in my pocket, protected by its holder.  
We clean up our small picnic, the sky almost black as we do. Nothing is said to the other, and we quickly pack everything in the back on his car before he’s nodding for me to sit on the trunk, opening a small white kit. My lips twitch a little, impressed that he’s prepared, and so caring. It’s a nice change.  
“Gonna sting a little beautiful, but got a couple to clean up.” He hums, taking a small alcohol wipe, only giving a little warning as he presses it to the cut in my shoulder and I hiss. “I know, I know. But I only like blood, no infections.” He soothes, his voice a gentle mummer as he diligently cleans the cut before moving on. The one on my collarbone hurt more, and he shushes me as I jerk back, following as I whine and pout.  
“You don’t have to do this you know.” I pout as he grins.  
“Yes, I do, silly little Doe.” He coo’s, grinning widely as I pout. “So you can handle me cutting you up while I fuck you, but not a little aftercare?” He teases as I blush, shrugging. “Uh huh, just a bit more Doe face.” He hums, chuckling as I whine. He’s diligent though, thoroughly cleaning each cut, finding out he cut me up a bit more than I knew. The cold wipe is such a contrast to his warm touch, and I’m thankful when he’s done with the alcohol, gently rubbing a numbing cream into the cuts and bandaging the bigger ones.  
“There we go.” He coos, kissing the bandage he just set down sweetly, before his lips peck mine gently. “Good little doe.” He smiles, grinning wider as I blush. “It’s getting late, lets get you home.” He hums and I nod, squealing as he lifts me up.  
“Andy!” I laugh with him, holding onto him as he grins, a boyish smile slipping his face.  
“Your mine Little Doe, all mine.” He chuckles. I smile up at him, nodding.  
“Of course, Wolf.”


	8. The Bruises and The Wolfs Eyes

The marks are beautiful, dark. A blossom of purple and blue against pale white flesh with stems of dark red, like a twisted flower. He left his mark on me, they go from my neck to my chest, the cuts having the biggest bouquet of purple and blue, while he also left maroon petals along my neck, my body feeling like a abused flower.  
His fingers are burned into my skin, my hips showing clearly where he touched me and held me. I love it though, and I love the burn it gives when I run my fingers over the marks. They remind me of the night on the hill with the stars, even the next day, having vivid memory of his hands on me and my knife to my throat.  
Unfortunately, while I find the marks glorious and something to be treasured, there were two major problems when I woke up the next morning. One, I was sore, very very sore. So sore I had to lay in bed for numerous minutes before I could even get up. The second was the second I looked in the mirror, I was surprised I wasn’t dead, the marks and cuts all around me are definitely not kind looking to anyone unaware.  
Despite the steam in the shower, I was still considerably sore as I got dressed in work clothes. But, I had little choice, I needed to go to work. So, I toughed it through, brushing heavy layers of foundation and concealer over my neck to make me halfway presentable. There's work to be done, finding bruises on my arms, but I just use my work jacket to cover them, frowning at the time. I hurry and tie my hair up, quickly grabbing my stuff as I make my way out the door, ignoring that I probably should have breakfast, who really needs it?  
The walk to the small bakery is always brief, giving me time to listen to a few songs before I find my way inside, quickly putting my stuff away and get to work. I may be hiding myself from Louis, but who could blame me? I look like a mess, and I don’t want any of them to worry. It’s easier to just focus on making the doughs for breads and muffins, staying constantly busy. I love it thought, muscle memory making it so I hardly have to think of what i’m doing, instead i’m able to softly mumble along with the radio playing, swaying loosely as the shop slowly comes to life. Our cake decorator comes today, so the smell of fresh baked cake that Louis is working on overpowers my breads, but I just have to hum. It’s pleasant, at least.  
Nothing is truly special about the day, like most days. The only true change in the day compared to others is that I end up working cash register again, like the day I fainted. Louis had cakes to bake, Mr. Thomas isn’t a people person and Mrs. Thomas had to run to the store. I get to sit too, my body sore as I slowly sit on the stool she has behind the counter. This is the one time I let myself on my phone, instantly grinning seeing a message from Andy.  
_‘When do you get off work today Doe?’ - Wolf ___  
I send back a message letting him know i’m off at two, curious what he wants with the information or what's planned. I mean, I did just see him last night. But, he wants to spend time with me, and I can’t deny wanting to see him too.  
The day is still slow though, and gradually grows hotter the longer i’m there. Usually I don’t wear a jacket, and I can’t stand it much longer. Looking at the clock, I huff at the half hour I have left, anxious to see the Wolf again. I grin at my suitable nickname for Andy, leaning on my elbows boredly.  
Wolf oddly does suit him. He’s lean, and his eyes can pierce straight through me with a almost haunting look. But, then they can go playful easily, the ice melting in his eyes and showing the ocean. There's a lot to explore about Andy, and I want to know the secrets of my wolf. What does he know? He knows more than he lets on, surely.  
I want to know the dark side of my wolf too. Remembering what we spoke of last night, it sends a shiver down my spine. I need to slowly find out what my Wolf is doing in the woods at night, what has he done? Where does he bury his secrets? Why is he so kind to me?  
I don’t have too much time to think, the bell ringing in the shop, and I find myself perking up seeing Andy. He sends a almost boyish grin to me, keeping something behind his back as he walks up to the counter, leaning on it.  
“Hey Doe.” He coos softly, grinning as I smile widely.  
“Hey Wolf.” I smile back, his eyes lighting up at the mention of the name.  
“Almost off?” He asks and I nod. “Good, cause these are yours.” I cover my mouth as he shows me a bouquet of flowers, red and white roses held together by a black cloth.  
“Andy, what are these for?” I blush as he grins.  
“Cause, you look beautiful when you blush, I love watching it, so I’m going to do it anyway I can.” He says setting them on the counter as I blush a bit darker. “And, when you get off, i’ll tell you what the colours mean.” He says as I grin.  
“Your too sweet wolf.” I say as he nods, smiling proudly. I glance up hearing the bell ring and see Mrs. Thomas coming in with groceries, grinning as I jump up from the stool. “Let me go get my stuff and we can go, okay?” I ask and he nods, leaning on the counter as I head back towards where I keep my stuff.  
I huff as I take my jacket off, finding to too hot to wear the heavy coat and go to switch to my thinner one. Go to, mind you, but I never do, hearing a loud gasp.  
“Rachel!” My whole body freezes, Louis's voice ringing out. I have my back to him, and I quickly try to slide my jacket on and flea the scene, but am quickly grabbed, his eyes wide and worried as he looks down at me. “Who did that?!” He asks loudly, ignoring as I glare, trying to shut him up.  
“Shush! I’m fine Louis!” I say quietly, his face fallen in shock.  
“Oh my god, you have marks on your neck too, holy fuck!” He swears, his hand going over my throat and rubbing away make up it seems. I curse myself for sweating, glaring at him.  
“I’m fine Louis, let go.” I try to order, and he just scoffs at me.  
“It was him, wasn’t it? That mother fucker!” He swears, and is quickly letting go of me, but is storming out to the front, my eyes wide.  
“Louis! No! I’m fine!” He just ignores me as I chase him, and I hardly have time to step outside, watching as Louis swings at Andy. “Andy!” Gasping as my wolf tumbles, Mrs. Thomas is pulling me away from the scene as Andy stands up to fight back.  
It’s all so quick, punches and swears as I try to fight my way from Mrs. Thomas’s firm grasp, her eyes sorrowful looking at me. Mr. Thomas is quick out of his office though, so the fight doesn’t last long inside the building, and i’m forced to just watch as the two force Andy outside, kicking him to the curb. My wolf isn’t one to back down, pouncing up with a bloody nose and trying to attack Louis, eyes dark, a kind of dark I only saw once before.  
Seeing the look in Andy's eyes made me twist much harder from Mrs. Thomas’s grip, quickly escaping and running outside and pushing Andy back and behind me. My actions startle all of us, Louis’s eyes wider than my own.  
“Enough!” Yelping the words out quickly, I stare down Louis. “I...I told you I was fine!” I have trouble spitting the words out, Louis’s face showing nothing but anger.  
“Oh yes, surely your fine! Your fucking black and blue!” He fumes, and I feel Andy tense behind me. “You’re not going to be another statistic! I’m going to fucking kill him!” Louis growls, but Mr. Thomas pulls him back, the old man's eyes watching me closely. “He’s fucking hurting you, you dumb bitch. Just going to let him use you and fucking kill you slowly!” He spits, Mr. Thomas’s grip tightening.  
“I think you need to have Rosie pick you up.” Is all Mr. Thomas says to me, before he’s pulling Louis inside, the man still red in the face and angry.  
Taking a deep breath, I don’t even look at Andy. Not when he puts his hand on my shoulder, or when he says he’ll be in his car. Pushing a hand through my hair, I take careful steps inside to grab my things and silently leave the building, unsure if it’s a good idea to go back to work tomorrow.  
Either way, I find myself sliding in the car next to Andy, both of us staring blankly ahead. He doesn’t even try to touch me or say anything, just starts his car and leaves. I don’t think either of us know exactly what to say, or how to break the silence. I don’t mind it, too much, but it is disturbing.  
His eyes are cold, dark even. There’s such a darkness in them, it makes my stomach twist. They’re like looking over a cliff, sending my stomach to the icy bottom as the go deeper. Whatever he’s thinking about, it scares me, and I’m not sure i’m breathing. I don’t even think he is, he is a man of stone in the sunlight, staring straight forward, chest barley moving as he sucks in a breath.  
“Why did you stop us?” It’s a dark and powerful question, his voice holding none of the sweet tones it normally does when he speaks to me, this, this is the man from that dreadful night. The realisation of that makes me sink in my seat, horrified that in the next two seconds I will be jumping out of the car and running. But, I find my wolf as he glances at me, and I can feel air return to my lungs, shakingly letting it within me and fill me.  
“Because...you got that look in your eye.” I mummer, picking at my fingernails anxiously.  
“What look?” He asks cautiously, his voice lowering.  
“The look...The look you get when you...you want to hurt me.” I struggle with my words, biting my lip as Andy's eyes go wide, and he stares at me in the ever slow California traffic.  
“I… I did?” He asks slowly, seeming loss for words, and I nod slowly.  
“You looked like you did that night. You were going to hurt him.” I mummer, Andy physically slumping in his seat.  
Neither of us say another word, but Andy reaches up and takes my hand tightly. If I had to guess, he seemed scared of himself. Scared of who he was. I can’t lie and say i’m not scared myself, but I am. I’m terrified of the man holding my hand as if he depended on it. Taking a breath, I slowly settle, and just let him drive. We don’t even dare turn the radio on, but the silence wasn’t awkward, at least.  
He eventually pulled up to a small house on the end of a street. It was almost tucked away, numerous plants outside hiding it away. The house itself seemed small, simple white, but with a large window up front. There was a small stone path leading up to the door from the driveway, and I think I spotted a rose bush on the side of the house.  
“What do you think?” Andy's voice has fallen back gentle, soft, and I smile softly.  
“I like it.” I whisper softly back as he lips finally twitch up.  
“Come on, we should probably get something to eat.” He says as I smile softly nodding, slipping out of the car before he can open my door. He just chuckles at me, shaking his head slightly before walking over to me. He pauses before he touches me though, his blue eyes widening as he looks down at me.  
“Andy?” I ask softly, aware something has startled him.  
“Oh Doe.” His voice falls in pitch, his hand timid as he reaches out for me. “My poor poor Doe, I didn’t know I hurt you so badly.” He mummers. His eyes actually hold sorrow, and its startling as I look into those sad blue eyes.  
“I’m fine Andy.” I assure softly, but my words fall to deaf ears, and he’s careful taking my hand, guiding me inside the house quickly. I let him lead me into the living room, my eyes absorbing every detail they can before he makes me sit. He looks down at me, before he’s crouching beside me, fingers careful as they trail down my cheek. “I’m going to make this better, I promise.” He mummers before stepping away.  
I hear the faucet,and him grabbing some things and dishes clanking, but I stay put, it seems he doesn’t want me to follow. I’m curious though, but I sit patiently till he steps out of the door he disappeared behind with two bowls. He doesn’t let me see, walking past me to another hall, and I pout slightly, standing to follow him. He glances over his shoulder hearing me as he nudges open a door, chuckling softly and finally nodding for me to follow him. Smiling, I trot up to him as he walks into a bedroom, setting the two bowls on a night stand. I don’t get much time to see much besides the black and dark blue bed sheets on his full size mattress and the art supplies scattered around the small room, Andy's hands wrapping around me and guiding me to the bed easily.  
“I’m going to make you feel better, they say an orgasam is one of the best pain medications.” He hums, a soft grin falling on his lips as I blush, but don’t protest as he slides my jacket off.  
He’s gentle, all of my clothes being slid off one by one, and his lips hover over every inch of skin as they are exposed, gentle kisses given to every bruise and cut he finds. He has me laid out on the soft sheets, one of my legs being moved over his shoulder as his lips trail from my knee to my inner thigh, before his lips eventually kiss my center, earning a surprised jerk from me. He’s being so gentle, his touch no rougher than a butterflys.  
“Shh, just feel Doe, just feel.” He mummers against me, sending vibrations straight to my core as I shudder. I can hear his chuckle as I react to him and everything he does, squirming under every breath that hits my rapidly soaking core.  
His tongue slides along the edges, and I find myself twisting, begging for more. So much more, please. He’s slow, giving long slow licks to my core, the frustration building in my gut. Moaning lowly every time he gives a little more stimulation, his tongue dipping into my like a tiger at a pond, it’s infuriating as he slows again.  
“Andy! Please!” I find myself begging as he laughs at my misery, his head moving up to look at me, a spark in his eyes showing he’s enjoying this nearly as much as I am.  
“What do you want Doe?” He coos, his fingers trailing along my thighs.  
“You! Just...Just something!” I beg as he hums.  
“I’ll see what I can do.” He nearly purrs, his head dipping back down. I feel him gently hum as his tongue slides back into me, and I moan loudly, not even caring. God, yes, this is what I needed. My fingers curl into the sheets as his tongue works into me, lapping along me thirstily, leaving me a squirming and moaning mess. His hands hold onto my thighs, keeping them still. But he’s gentle with them, definitely not adding any bruises to the collection.  
His tongue laps around my clit at one point, swirling around easily as I gasp and feel my body nearly break down at the spot. Whimpering, I am a panting mess as he continues to twist his tongue around, sliding from eating out my core to torturing my clit. One of his hands joins him in his assault, massaging my clit as he forces his tongue deeper in my walls, and I’m quickly coming undone, coming into his mouth within a minutes, breathlessly moaning out his name as he makes me ride out my orgasam.  
He eventually pulls away, sliding his body over mine and sending a gentle kiss to my lips, grinning softly. I look up to those beautiful blue eyes, and it’s a silent thank you before he nods lightly, sitting up. He sends a soft look I take as stay down as he grabs a bowl, taking a white rag from it and wringing some water out of it, before gently pressing it to my neck. It’s cool, a stark contrast from the hot air sticking to me, and I shut my eyes under the careful care. This is lovely, purely lovely.  
“God, your beautiful like this. Laid out on my bed and letting me tend to you.” He hums, gently dabbing the rag along my neck. “How do you feel?” He asks softly, and I just hum lightly.  
“Good.” I mummer as he chuckles.  
“Did I tire you out?” He asks, running the rag over my forehead.  
“A lil.” I mumble, cracking my eyes open to see his grin.  
“Good.” He smirks softly. “You can sleep a little, i’ll be here.” He promises. He doesn’t have to tell me twice, eye falling shut within another moment, lulled to sleep by his gentle breaths and soothing touch of the rag.


	9. Dancing With a Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while, but hopefully this isn't too terrible <3

_‘I’m almost there Doe.’ - Wolf ___  
I smile as I skirt around my room, checking my hair one last time and make up. I had my hair in a simple braid and some basic makeup to make me look a little more alive, and to cover Andys love bites. I love them, my fingers pressing into them absently to feel the dull pain they bring. It’s very grounding for me, bringing me back to reality with ease.  
Today, Andy is taking me to a concert. Not just any concert though, his. Well, his and his bands, but I’m still excited. Not because i’m a fan, I had never truly heard of them before, but because this meant I could see what Andy did for a living. He’s seen me in my zone, working in my environment and happy place, but I don’t think I have had a chance to see him do what he does best.  
Grabbing my phone and stepping out of my room, I wave to Rosie as I grab my purse, hearing a beep outside that very likely belongs to Andy. Patting my pocket to double check I have my knife that Andy insist I carry everywhere since the incident, I head out quickly.  
I can’t help the involuntary grin that reaches my face when I see my wolf leaned up against his car, and he seems the same, smiling behind his sunglasses as he pulls an arm around my waist and a gentle kiss on my lips. I melt against him like sugar before he’s pulls away with a wide grin.  
“Ready babe?” He asks and I nod, giggling as he opens my car door.  
“Such a gentlemen.” I tease as he smirks.  
“Gotta treat you like a gentlemen, since I fuck you like a animal.” He grins down at me as I blush, looking down as he shuts my door and heads over to the driver side, humming easily with a satisfied smirk on his face.  
We drive with the windows down and a hand on my thigh, laughing like we’re teenagers in L.A traffic. I never experienced this as a kid, so I can’t help but absorb everything that happens around us. We’re listening to some rock song and his hair is blowing back like he’s James Dean, a cigarette in his mouth and a hand dancing up my thigh. It’s like being kids in love, and it’s so fun. Who would of thought loving someone would feel so great?  
He parks in the back of a building, his long fingers brushing through his tangled strands of black hair before he winks at me, seeing me watching him.  
“You do a better job at giving me sex hair, but I guess this’ll do huh?” He asks as I laugh.  
“As fun as it’d be to ride you right now...think your friend is waiting for you.” I shyly point to a man standing in a doorway as Andy sighs, chuckling lightly as he leans over to kiss me gently.  
“Love when I can get that little bit of rebel out of her shell.” He smiles softly, before he’s getting out of the car. I open my door before he can get it, and he just chuckles at me, pulling an arm around me as I connect to his side.  
“God, I thought y’all were too busy fucking to ever come in.” The man at the doorway complains, black flat hair covering tan features. I recognise him briefly, but don’t have time to think about it.  
“Whatever dickhead, like you haven’t been late to rehearsal before cause you were getting your dick sucked.” Andy snaps at the man playfully, both of them laughing afterwards.  
“Yeah yeah, come on.” The tan man says nodding for us to come inside, Andy guiding me in.  
“Babe, this is Ashley, a huge dickhead.” Andy introduces to me playfully, the man rolling his eyes as we walk down the hall.  
“Says the dick.” Ashley huffs, leading us into a room where some other men are hanging around, either eating or fixing their looks. Ones eyes widen when he sees me, jerking up straighter. With wide brown eyes and a crooked tooth, he gapes at me.  
“Its you! Oh god, are you okay?” He bombords me with the question, standing up as Andy's arm tightens around me. Hes faintly familiar, but I cant put a name to a face.  
“Oh god it is her.” Another says, and I set a careful hand on Andy's as he scowls. I recognize them now though, the guys from the day I passed out.  
“Yeah, im okay.” I say softly, before the first man to question me looks at Andy.  
“How do you know her?” He asks, tilting his head.  
“I went by the bakery again, their blueberry muffins are good.” Andy says smoothly as I smile at the indirect complement. The man slowly nods, before looking at me.  
“Im CC.” He introduces, with a friendly smile. “Guy with headphones is Jake, give him a bit, he's working on stuff.” CC explains and i nod quietly.  
“Jinxx.” The second guy introduces quietly, eyes studying me closely. I wave softly, a little uncomfortable under his eyes, the sharp grey piercing through me in feels like.  
“Rachel, she's mine.” Andy introduces for me, pulling me in front of him and wrapping his arms around me as I giggle. He sets his chin on my head, and I hear him him softly as i laugh, being squeezed again playfully.  
“About time you showed up Andrew, seriously, traffic couldn't be that bad.” A new voice narks as they enter, and a short blonde man shows himself.  
“Oh but it was.” Andy sighs, slowly releasing me.  
This is when I step back, as the man continues to nark and force them out the room to sound check. Andy grins at me, grabbing my hand and leading me out. I follow them down the hall and some stairs, into the theater hall, Andy sending a quick peck to my head.  
“Go check out the seats.” He winks as i giggle, nodding. I make my way down as they warm up, different tunes of guitars and simple beats, Andy counting in the microphone. I smile as i settle in a seat a bit far back, watching Andy walk the length of the stage, pacing it like a predator. The name wolf suits him, lengthy limbs hunching in spots as he prowels, eyes still able to pierce me everytime he glances at me, and i'm a good bit away. He shoots a smile my way every now and then as I watch fascinated by how they work and warn up together.  
Soon enough they are done, and I giggle as Andy pounces down from the stage, not taking stairs like a normal person. I watch as he jogs up, winking at me as he slides into the seat next to me. He playfully yawns, his arm extending over my shoulders as i shake my head at the cheesy move.  
“So, whatcha think? Being behind the scenes and all.” He says as i hum.  
“Nice seeing you work, very graceful.” I tease as he chuckles, shaking his head at me.  
“It'll be better tonight.” He promises before standing. “Come on, they'll be letting people in soon.” He says as I nod, quickly following him.  
The next hour or so is alternating between watching Andy intently work on his hair, doing silly vocal warm ups, watching him have a smoke and being pulled onto his lap as he read something on his phone. It was nice though, as he ‘claimed’ me, clutching me tighter when someone looked our way. I felt protected by him, utterly possesed by his being.  
When the opening band started to play, Andy grinned as he glanced from his phone, the music faint in the dressing room but heard. I didn't know who it was, I didnt even know truly what Andy's band sounded like, but nevertheless, I was happy to be here.  
“You should braid your hair more.” He hums for a second before helping me slide off his lap. I tilt my head at him but he says nothing at his own comment, but I store the comment for later. Andy does seem to be in his own world though, bouncing his leg and touching his hair repeatedly. I would call it anxious, but i don't know for sure if it is. The rest of the guys are similar, CC bouncing drumsticks on the brick wall in a quick pattern, while the others warm up their fingers. Its interesting to watch, especially the closer they get to performing.  
“Come on.” Andy hums, taking my hand and guiding me out, before pointing to the side of the stage. “I wanna be able to see you.” He says in my ear, before kissing my head and pushing me along. I laugh softly but obey as they circle up and start chanting something, hyping the other up as opening music starts.  
Watching them each one by one head out like hell is on their heels, I smile as Andy winks at me before making his own grand entrance and they fall straight into a song. I smile as I watch them, quickly seeing Andy is a similar person on stage and off.  
He stalks the stage with confidence and a predatory eye, the blue eyes sparkle under the bright lights as he sings. Hes confident, which i knew he was, and he bounces with a new kind of energy. He seems peaceful as he sings, hair flipping back as his deep voice filled the hall. It sounds better than it did in my kitchen, where he held and scared me as i baked. It's much deeper and powerful now.  
As the show goes on, I slowly find myself falling in love with music and the way Andy thrashs about the stage without much care. As they take a break and Andy chugs some water, I smile as he leans on a mic stand.  
“We haven't played this song in a while, but this cover has always been a favorite.” I can't help laughing at his smirk, shaking my head as he pours water on himself and the girls scream. What a ridiculous man.  
The guitar picks up as they get back together, and Andy shoots a look my way, winking at me as I blush, giggling before he starts singing.  
_“Last night a little dancer came dancin' to my door, Last night a little angel came pumping on the floor, She said, come on baby, I got a license for love, And if it expires, pray help from above.” _His voice is seductive, and i feel my throat go dry as his hips strunt, watching his every move in pure awe.__  
_“In the midnight hour she cried, more, more, more, With a rebel yell she cried, more, more, more.” _I can feel my body heat up as I watch him pretty much tease the ever living fuck out of me, his lips dirty as they sing the words.__  
He continues to sing the song, not even looking at me as he seduces the crowd, sweat dripping off his body. I, I didn't know could be such a tease, but god I feel like he's teasing the fuck out of me.  
_“I walked the ward with you, babe, A thousand miles with you, I dried your tears of pain, babe, A million times for you.” _His voice lower into a purr I know so well, whimpering quietly in my throat as he throws his head back, going into the chorus.__  
I’ve come to love his voice, knees weak as I watch him sing and prance along the stage, fully aware he owns every inch and everyone in the crowd. As he sings the last lines, he glances my way finally with a wink, and I flush. Who knew wolves could tease.  
The rest of the show was a little tamer, finishing up with songs the crowd sang along to as I watched side stage. As Andy bid the crowd good night, I smiled as he ran my way, wrapping a sweaty arm around me and dragged me with the rest of the guys back to the dressing room.  
“You did great.” I smile as he flops onto the couch, pulling me to him tightly.  
“Mm, you seemed to enjoy yourself.” He mummers as I nod.  
“Who knew my wolf could dance?” I grin as he chuckles.  
“Dances as he chases his doe.” He hums, kissing my head easily. I smile up at him, letting him wrap around me before he has to get cleaned up.  
I think i’m starting to love him. 


End file.
